Above and beyond myself

“The backslider in heart will be filled with his own ways,

But a good man will be satisfied from above.” 
[Proverbs 14:14]

Yesterday morning, I was on my way to a hotel near the airport to visit two friends who were left stranded in Dili when their plane didn’t take off.  It was the morning of the Dili Marathon and many roads were closed. My cab was stuck in traffic as it tried to bypass other closed roads. After minutes of waiting, the police did allow some cars through and we made it out of the jam. But a short while later, we hit another road closure. This time, I decided to get off the cab and walk the rest of the way. 

At the hotel reception, I chatted with a middle-aged lady who sat outside with a young girl on her lap. They were headed for Sri Lanka. I expressed my sympathy at the travel chaos. She smiled graciously.

Over at the restaurant, there was a backlog of breakfast orders from the stranded passengers. Overall though, people seemed to be coping the best they could under the circumstances. There didn’t seem to be clear communication between the airline and the passengers however. The last shuttle bus was about to leave for the airport and my other friend was unaware. I ran into her cabin, told her it was time to go and threw her clothes into her bag. After seeing them off, I left for church, and was in time to catch the closing prayer. It certainly was an unusual Sunday!

One of the lessons I learn again and again, is that life is full of surprises. It is a complete myth to think that we can control what happens. Sure, we have to make plans, schedule appointments and organize our lives. But ultimately, no amount of planning can ensure that things happen as we envision. And when it doesn’t, what do we do?

Maybe these thoughts caused Proverbs 14:14 quoted above to jump up at me this morning. A good man will be satisfied from above. When this person’s desires are thwarted, and his plans go awry, perhaps he will not be overly upset, because he is satisfied by a higher source, beyond himself, “from above”.

What satisfies us? What gives us a sense of fulfillment at the end of a day? Do we find happiness and joy within ourselves, when all our inward desires have been gratified? Or are we the “good man” referred to in Proverbs 14:14, who looks outside his own limited self for true satisfaction – perhaps to the approval of the Father, and to hear Him say, “Well done, good and faithful servant!”

Every now and then, I remind myself that not all my desires will be fulfilled in this life. This is reality, and I often feel that accepting this fact is a pre-requisite to leading an abundant life – a life freed from the compulsive need to fulfill all my desires, as though it were possible, or would make me truly happy.