The grammar of love
I have been running a listening class with some of the more advanced students, using audio materials that a friend kindly sponsored. Over and over again, I explained to the class the importance of listening in language learning. To put it simply, if you want to speak a language, you must listen. Good output is only possible if there is good input. Apart from doing the exercises in the workbooks, I would also type out transcripts of the recordings so that they can read the text, as well as listen. Time and again, I encouraged the students to visit the library on their own time and re-listen to the recordings, especially if they have made mistakes in their exercises.
But to my disappointment, I didn’t see any of them putting in personal listening practice, despite having access to good materials. I repeated my advice, but again, didn’t see any changes. I grew increasingly frustrated with their lack of initiative and independence in learning. Coupled with fatigue due to our busy schedule, I considered ending the listening class. After all, I thought, if 20 listening classes aren’t enough to push them out of their passivity, why continue?
Then, something interesting happened yesterday.
We met for the listening class as usual, but I cut it short because I had to administer exams for another group of students. So I excused myself and told the students that they can practice on their own. And to my surprise, three of them did. For perhaps the first time, they replayed the recording on their own and then tried some other exercises in the workbook.
About 45 minutes later, I returned to the main hall and two of them were still working on the exercises. I spied them discreetly as I sat down to mark my exam scripts. They seemed to be having fun. I was very happy. Finally, I was seeing some initiative after 20 sessions of reminding and cajoling.
Generally speaking, Timorese youth are passive learners. For most students, going to school means copying material from the blackboard for hours, often without any comprehension whatsoever, and without any explanation from the teacher. And that’s if the teacher has shown up for work for the day. After a decade or so of being in such an educational system (not forgetting the larger context of social unrest), young people lack basic thinking skills and the foundation for learning to take place. It is almost as if there is a vacuum in their mind and personality because they have never been exposed to anything better, or inspired to want something more.
The battle is fought on two fronts. On one hand, it is to fill the void with what is good and worthy, like inculcating ownership over their own learning process. On the other hand, it is to uproot entrenched mindsets and attitudes that impede growth, like eliminating passivity and over reliance on the teacher.
It’s a long and tiring battle. Intellectually, I know that it will take a long time to bring about positive change, but emotionally, I often lack the tenacity and perseverance to live out what I know to be true. I get frustrated quickly and become upset, and start entertaining thoughts of giving up.
But God in His mercy knows that I am but dust and He intervenes. He shows me a glimmer of hope and nudges me to keep going on, as I believed He did yesterday, when the students started practicing on their own.
Is it any wonder that of all the other possible adjectives, love is described as being longsuffering first and foremost, in Paul’s brilliant sermon in 1 Cor 13? And is it not interesting that longsuffering is in the present continuous tense, denoting a continuous state, of something in progress? To be longsuffering on Monday, and no longer so on Tuesday sounds nonsensical, both grammatically and spiritually. To be longsuffering over 20 listening classes, but not on the 21st lesson sounds just as ludicrous. You either are longsuffering, or you aren’t. I honestly don’t think I have been longsuffering in relating to my students. But as I struggle to keep my head above the floodwaters, God throws a life buoy overboard just I am about to go under, and proves again, that His grace is sufficient and His timing, perfect.
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