Burdened

A Tetum expression nicely sums up how I am feeling now. Laran todan – which literally means, “to feel heavy inside”. The English equivalent would be to feel burdened.

A number of students who have been learning English with us have recently graduated from senior high school. For the first time in their lives, these youth have to seriously and intentionally plan for their future, instead of simply moving up from one grade to another. They are at a crossroads, though for some, wilderness is probably the better word.

The education scene here is so weak that young people are left without marketable skills, and little capacity for independent learning. Those who are poor have few options available to them. As time passes, they lose hope and focus and simply drift from day to day.

On our end, we try hard to help bright and promising students who show leadership potential, but there are only so many we can hire and train. And that process takes great effort and patience because of low skills set, a general attitude of passivity and a lack of critical thinking or transference skills.

And so, we find ourselves developing a human resource management division on the fly, on top of our usual responsibilities of teaching different age groups and operating the library. The last few weeks have been a whirlwind of activity, from drawing up labour contracts, to thinking through savings plans for our workers, to providing on-the-job training and personal development, and providing career counseling.

All of which has made me feel greater sympathy for the disciples who asked Jesus to send the hungry multitudes in the wilderness away. Preaching about giving God our five loaves and two fishes, and actually being personally confronted by such overwhelming need is quite different! I knew that bible story intellectually, but now, I am starting to know it experientially, which really is the biblical meaning of knowledge.

I pray I will also come to know experientially that God does truly multiply every drop that we pour out - and quickly!