Let the poor say I am rich

“A man can receive nothing unless it has been given to him by heaven…” [John 3:27]

I am now a stranger in a foreign land, without ties of kinship, having few possessions in my rented house. I am without a ministry that I can call my own. I feel like I am in between seasons, and places, having left a place I called home, and not yet accepted in this new land.

I have been trying to imagine how the future might be. What would I have and own here? How would my ministry look like? Contemplating the future from a position of having very little has given me a new understanding of a timeless truth that we all profess - God is the source of everything.

I previously wrote that it is only when we die to our sense of entitlement that we can recognize God’s grace at work. I can now add this: It is only when we are impoverished and vulnerable that we can recognize God as the Giver of all things. If we remain in a position of strength, accumulating and hoarding to increase our wealth and influence, we will find it very difficult to say with great conviction that God was the source. Maybe I achieved all these by myself. Maybe it was my education and training. Or maybe it was through my connections. My experience.

Maybe this is what Jesus meant when He said that the poor will receive the kingdom of Heaven. Those who are spiritually, emotionally and intellectually poor, those who are helpless, weak, vulnerable, those who are at the mercy of others – these are the ones who will gladly receive everything that comes from the hand of God, for there is simply no other source of provision in their impoverished lives. These are the ones who will be overflowing with thankfulness, because every drop of grace is so precious.

I have a very limited ability to communicate right now. I have no good local friends. I have no influence in the community, and few connections. I have almost no understanding of local culture, beyond the superficial. I have nothing, and I am nothing.

And I give thanks for my current poverty, because it would only mean that all things that I receive henceforth could only have come from the hand of God and no one else.

The day that I can truly share with a Timorese in Tetum will be a day of great thanksgiving, because only God could have given me the ability that I do not have now. The day that I have a good local friend will be a day of rejoicing, because the friendship could only have come from God. The day that I become trusted and respected would be a milestone that commemorates just how far I’ve come with God’s help. The day that I appreciate local culture, and can win the hearts and minds of the people, would be a day of utmost joy, for only God could have given me the understanding and wisdom I so lack now.

May He receive all the glory, both through my current poverty, and the future abundance He will give me.

July 29, 2007

Sunday